Discombobulatingly Devastating

Mike Tyson is easily my favorite celebrity. I hope that he marries Lindsay Lohan or somebody so that he’s always in the news. Here are some of my favorite Mike Tyson quotes:

• I want your heart. I want to eat his children. Praise be to Allah!
• My main objective is to be professional but to kill him.
• (In reference to his daughter) Her mother is beautiful, but she [daughter Rayna] is so gorgeous she makes her mother look like a junkyard dog.
• How dare these boxers challenge me with their primitive skills?
• My power is discombobulatingly devastating.
• I wish that you guys had children so I could kick them in the f***ing head or stomp on their testicles.
• I normally don’t do interviews with women unless I fornicate with them. So you shouldn’t talk anymore…unless you want to, you know.
• He called me a rapist and a recluse. I am not a recluse.
• I guess I’m gonna fade into Bolivian.