My email address is If you have any great deals on Viagra or a way I might win two free iPod Nanos, I’d love to hear from you. I’m desperately lonely, seeing that I live in mud hut in a country where no one speaks my language, so if you’d just like to tell me about your day, that would be fine also. Furthermore, if  you have any hilarious pictures involving monkeys, I’d love to see them.


One Response to “Send me an email!”

  1. abby Says:

    first: i’m not trying to have cyber sex with you. i am bored in penn station, waiting for my train to DC, and happened upon your blog via collegehumor.

    your blog is fantastic. i pine away for your new articles on collegehumor, because they make me LOL. i rarely LOL anymore, and while you don’t know me from eve nor do you know my sense of humor, i thought i’d tell you how hilarious your writing is. and, after reading through your blog, i also wanted to tell you how impressed i am with your music taste–which is very, which is also probably enough to have live sex with you, if you knew me from eve, or i you from adam.

    second: old people are the future! it’s nice to see someone else in my age cohort (i’m 23) who knows what’s up. i work with old people and find your depictions of the aged to be both obscenely offensive and totally fucking hilariously on-point. bravo.

    just yesterday i called a client who told me his full name was “earl the turd.” he’s 96 years old and i think he smokes pot. he also has a purple heart from korea and told me he knows our country will be taken over by the chinese in a minimum of 45 to 60 days. so, look out.


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